Purrrrrrty Shit.
You remember that bad girl from way back in the day?
From the times that she would scoot around the avenue on her roller skates, knocking the boys who tried to hold her hand down on their sorry asses, to stealing perks and cigarettes from her mama’s purse, right up through high school when she would blaze up before classes and still show up to home room on time, looking right, smelling like angels oughta smell and flashing you the shittiest look ever when you got caught checking her out… and you loved it.
Well, that girl is all grown up now, still way the fuck out of your league, still bad, still fine as hell, and no doubt rocking the latest from Karmaloop’s Most Official Bitches, Married to the Mob.
KarmaloopBlogs loves us some MOB, and throughout this week, the ladies behind the gear have jacked the site, determined to teach your lame, boring girlfriend once and for all how to dress right. Trust us, as tired as you are watching the poor, misinformed girl strolling around in fucking running sneakers, sorority sweats and American Eagle bullshit, we’re forced to look at that, too. So consider this a PSA and fell free to paste the link on her “What Drink Are You?” survey and Farmville-dominated Facebook page (p.s. Fuck Farmville).
Oh, the tees. Yum. With prints and graphics ranging from all-out sexy to as snotty as used tissues, MOB’s tees always have that killer cut that slays us so well – you know, when that tiny bit of smooth, perfect girl skin peeks from beneath the hem and makes us dudes go insane? Coupled with low-rise denims (we will never co-sign the mom-jeans look, no matter what) that are tight in all the right places and make us grind our teeth enough to need braces, MOB has essentially trademarked the definitive look in women’s streetwear.
Yeah, you know that sound. It usually forces it’s way out after trying in vain to think of baseball and a naked Rosie O’Donnell before you’re apologizing profusely for busting way too soon. That same, sinister sound manifests itself in the feeling that floods our beer guts seeing MOB skirts and dresses. Cut at levels to humiliate your mother and turn your girl’s friends into shit-talking Jealous Jennys, there’s not much we can do to contain ourselves aside from running home and screaming ourselves hoarse under ice water showers… yeah, we’re big fans.
Now, we realize that less is definitely more (sexy) when it comes to a fresh-dressed woman. However, Mother Nature is certainly the queen of hatin’ hoes and when she brings the cold, MOB still brings the heat as evidenced by the unbridled sexiness just above. The jackets are comfortable, functional and totally fuckin’ cute (yep, we said it)… and don’t you know how fun it is to use your imagination? Implied sexiness is pure gold.
The women of the Karmaloop office have been on to The Official Ones’ hoodies since the beginning, and by the grace of the almighty MOB girls, it looks like they’re gonna be copping the new plaids, too. Girls + plaid = total rock & roll. We say, goddamn..!
Check the site all this week for more swoon-worthy surprises from the MOB crew – Leah and Tabatha have jacked the Women’s Blog for the week, so get over there and read the same hilarity that’s been killing us all day.
